I'm the lowest i could possibly be right now.
I've lost my best friend
And all my other friends wont even talk to me.
I have NOBODY.
i have my parents and my brother.
it blows completely, im so lonely all the time and im always bored.
im depressed all the time, its ridiculous.
Thank god i have a good job it'd probably check myself into the whitby psych.
Yes, it's getting that bad lately.
Im moving to france in 5 years or less, i need to leave this place completely and start over new. I dont even have to move across the world, but i feel like i need to this is ridicious. these people are ridiculous. you dont plan a party and not tell me what time i have to be there at. Talking to me non stop then all of a sudden you never talk to me at all?

What in the fuck did i do to deserve all of this.
I wish i could talk to andrew, he would have helped me . . if we were still together.
i hate my life. i hate myself.

wow its been two weeks since i updated. Holy shit hhaha
well my life isnt to fun anyways, quite boring actually.
I seen doug like 3 weeks ago.
it was a lot of fun actually.

i dont know what else?
Im still working.
single? You could say so. i dont know the fucking situation.
I thought being 'the other girl' was super cool but it isnt its all cracked up to be nor is it relly a ego boost you think it would give you. its all lies
i want you to be with you. you wont leave her.
your killing it and might loose two girls you 'love' instead of one.
i've been around longer, i dont know what to do.
I should seriously just give up and live alone. which is cool i guess.
Not gonna lie, i miss the compansionship of a boyfriend.
|well andrew is general. Fuck i miss him im not gonna lie anylonger. He was and probably will be the best boyfriend i ever had, he will be hard to beat. i miss everything about him but i guess i'll just kick myself in the head and move on like he alredy has (im assuming). i dont know i havent talked to him in a long time, i forget but it hasnt relly been that long but sure as hell feels like it.
I hope one day, i can find someone else who will treat me like he did; an angel.
only time will tell.

She wasn't gonna let her heart be broken anymore, So now she keeps it locked away. It grows colder every day And it won't warm to any man's caress. That what she says but sometimes she forgets.

So the shittiest thing happened yesterday.
I lost him forever.
Im devistated, confused.
I dont know what to do. I've become numb and everything.
I hate this, im having such a hard time even though im not relly crying im still hurting.
I miss him :(



Only good news:
Roxy is 4 today! <3
My birthdays in 8 days.

Shepcon says:
so I just really have no idea what to do
gypsy rose Let the Midnight Special shine a everlovin' light on me. says:
i know, do what you feel is right i guess
Shepcon says:
I don't know what that would be right now, because right now I just feel like it's going to get worse
gypsy rose Let the Midnight Special shine a everlovin' light on me. says:
I understand, whatever you decide is fine with me



Im preparing myself for the worst
*sigh*

My life isnt so bad afterall.
I think things are improving, I am definitely optimistic now
So hurray! Our 1.3 Anniversary is soon <3

Beach boys round two were awesome.
John stamos drummed/guitared. It was very exciting :)
We went to niagara falls and it was loads of fun!
Same with the scenic caves, which were complete kick ass.

My job is still sweet, its slow time so i have two weeks off, yay! haha.
And i get to see andrew tmrw, Stoked!

My life is falling apart
and theres nothing i can do to stop it.
I can only sit here and cry and hope everything is going to be okay.
I'm trying to numb myself for the worst.

I'm an emotional restless wreck.
And i'm falling apart on the inside.
I want to cry myself to death.

sup yoh?
I haven't been doing much lately (exciting i know!)
Hung out with andrew like normal. We had a sleepover on monday night, it was a lot of fun. They dont come so often anymore. My job is still awesome. I work Friday-monday which sucks but monday is a&p in bowmnaville so im going to andrews afterwards! :) IM very excited.

Been hanging out with mar alot lately, It makes me happy. :)
Still with andrew, which makes me super super happy, A year & 2 months next saturday!!
Hizzah!

spending time with teresa was well kinda alright. She's pregnant so shes extremely moody and its kinda uncomfortable, One minute shes all happy next she wants to kill somebody, its kind of a bummer. But it was fun, her party was alright too, hung out with mom& dad most of the night and her friend tim who was cool.

Thats about it.
OH blondie was amazing to the max!!! I loved it, she's gorgeous for her age! and the way she moves! yowww, haha. :)

ANd im seeing the b52s!!!! and bachman and cummings!! YEEEEEEEEEE :D

I totally conquered the baconator last night.
So much meat.
So much bacon.
I had it last night at midnight and now im still hurting.
Holy crap.

I also hung out with mar & andrew at the same time, I was majorly excited to the point of malfunctioning.
I love my best friend.
I love my boyfriend, aka husband <3

I cant wait for blondie next weekend, fuck yes.
Teresa next weekend, fuck yes.

Not seeing andrew alot this week makes me want to break down and cry.
I almost did last night wen i hugged him good-bye.
I just hate letting go, even though i know i'll be talking to and seeing him again soon.
I loathe conflicting schedules. They should rott in hell, I just want to see my boyfriend :(
I wish we could see eachother around 3 times a week. It was amazing. Its amazing now too but i miss him all the time, Its hard to get used to. I wish i made enough money so we could move in together.

Longest i've ever gone without an update. sad i know.
sorry fans (if anyone reads this, hah)

My life hasnt changed much.
Still employed. Still have andrew :):) (1.1 Soon! <3) I lovves him lots
Im visiting teresa june 14th hopefully.
Shes pregant now so im gonna be an aunty, which is exciting.
My birthday is in like 2 months almost. (thursday)
We bought wii fit, which is super awesome.
umm what else?
Blondies on the 13th!
Travis tritt is coming on august 15th (super excitted!!)
I dont know what else. I do hope we go to caraquet though.
Im comtiplating dying my hair. It's almost been a month, it was a pretty golden brown/blonde and turquoise but i'll prolly keep it till my roots are unbearable. So hurray to not dying hair so it can repair itself :)

Thats right folks, I landed me some employment!
I just finished my first day, I was up at 5:30am *phew*
I work for WIS (western inventory service)
It's super easy, I just do a shelf, I scan an item and count and put it into a fancy computer and it even does the math for me! Hizzah.
And its based on performance, if you do relly good you get bonuses/raises/more shifts.
In a couple of shifts i should be a speedy gonzalas.
Bonus - im allowed piercings/tattoos and funny hair

And my office is in the south end! lolz

Ironically, I love my job. . . not many can say that